Revenge of the Bella Barbie
by 2brown-eyes
Summary: Bella gets revenge. I suck at summaries, better one inside. (My entry for the Twilight Bothered Contest. A humorous take on complaints made about fics.)


**Cheryl, and Gabby thank you for pre-reading, and Fran, thank you for editing. Any mistakes left are my own. I do not own Twilight or its characters. Stephenie Meyer does.**

**Real A/N: Fair warning this one-shot is a spoof. This was done for the Twilight Bothered Contest. I purposely make fun and light of the things that I have seen complained about on Facebook about fics. It's meant to be humorous and not offensive. You will see misspelled words done on purpose. ****It received 1st place public, Judges' fave, MyWindowIsOpen and Alyscia, and Emergancy Beta's fav, EdwardsFirstKiss.**

_**Real Summary: Bella is tired of always being forced to being Alice's personal Barbie doll. She decides it's time to stand up for herself. M for lemony goodness.  
**_

_**AN: Hey, guys! Welcome to the new story … well … contest one-shot. I thought the best way to start off was to bring out our favorite boy. Edward, get your cute ass out here.**_

_**E: Hello, everyone, it's nice to see you all again. **_

_**AN: Thank you for joining us. Can you tell the readers what they can expect?**_

_**E: Um…wouldn't that ruin the story if I tell them everything? **_

_**AN: Give them a little something, pretty please?**_

_**E: I found it to be funny. Bella is the best. But then she always is whether she is shy … homeless … hellcat … C.E.O. … single mom … virgin … stripper … queen… teacher…sex goddess…**_

_**B: Oh My God, Edward, stop, you're embarrassing me. (blushes profusely)**_

_**E: What? It's true. I love you, no matter how you are written. **_

_**B: I love you too.**_

_**AN: Still here, guys. Bella, is there anything you'd like to tell our readers?**_

_**B: I hope everyone enjoys the story. I know I did. **_

_**AN: Thank you both. Enjoy, talk to you again down at the bottom.**_

**(Personally, I always got a kick out of these.)**

**Revenge of the Bella Barbie**

I grabbed my sandwich and apple before heading to the canteen for lunch. I glanced at a poster out of the corner of my eye and gave a sigh of relief. Thank goodness Edward agreed not to force me to go to prom this year. Last year was enough, this year we'll spend the night watching movies, maybe even _Carrie_.

The canteen was busy when I entered, and the majority of the tables were full. I spotted my group towards the back by the windows. Their were five of them in all, Emmitt was the biggest one of us. He was as big as a grizzly bear, although underneath he was more like a teddy bear. To his right was his bitchy girlfriend, Rose, we were neither friends nor enemies. She looked like a supermodel and knew it. Her twin, Jasper, sat across from her. He was the quietest and most reserved of the group. His arm was around his girlfriend, Alice. She was the yin to Jasper's yang. She was consistently hyper as if she had caffeine running through her veins instead of blood. She was also a huge shopaholic.

Saving the best for last was my Edward. His hair was the shade of a copper penny, and his eyes shone like emeralds. His face was chiseled like the statue of Adonis. He was the most popular guy in school. Why he was with someone as plain as me was a mystery.

He looked up and caught my eye, giving me a breathtaking crooked grin. I immediately blushed and then tripped over nothing. My cheeks burned even brighter, and I ducked my head as I hurried to my chair.

"Are you okay, baby?" Edward asked, kissing the side of my head.

"Yup, baby," I said, popping the p.

"Have a nice trip, Bella?" Emmitt snickered.

"Yeah, you'd think with all the frequent trip miles I've accumulated I would be able to go somewhere nice." I made a joke at my own expense.

"You need to be more careful, Bella. You don't want any broken bones at prom like last year," Alice scolded me.

"I'm not going to prom, so it won't be a problem." I shrugged.

Alice's blue eyes narrowed. "Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not," I told her.

"Of course you are. Who else will Edward go with? You don't want him to take Tanya, do you?" she asked matter of factly.

"Edward will be staying with me. We are going to have a movie night," I told her.

Alice gave her brother her patented puppy dog look…shit. He was a sucker every single time. "But you guys can have a movie nite anytime. Prom is going to be the last time we will be able to go together before we all graduate. You guys have to be their."

"We will be," Edward conceded.

I shot him a look of betrayal as Alice started to squeal happily. Edward gave me a pleading look, and I sighed, knowing I had lost the battle.

"Yay. Bella, we'll go shopping for dresses on Saturday. I'll pick you up at five, so we can be in Seattle in time for when the stores open. Pack a bag because after we get your dress, we'll need to do trial runs of your makeup and hair. That way we can cut the prep time for the prom down to three hours compared to the four it took last year," she started chatting away excitedly.

"Look, if I'm going to prom, I'll just wear the same dress as last year," I told her.

Alice's jaw slacked and her eyes widened, she was momentarily speechless as she shook her head back and forth. You'd think I told her that fashion week in Paris was canceled for good.

"That is a huge fashion no-no. You need a new dress. Don't even bother arguing with me, you know I'll win. Besides, lunch is over in 1…2…3." She pointed towards the ceiling just as the bell rang.

"Does anyone else get spooked when she does that or is it just me," Emmitt asked, picking up his tray.

"Just you." Jasper stood and put his arm around Alice's waste as they walked off to class together.

"Ready?" Edward asked, holding out his hand to me.

I nodded still a little perved that he gave in to Alice so easily. He kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye as we walked along, weaving in and out of the students getting to class.

"You're mad, aren't you?" He sighed.

"Yes, I am mad. You already made me a promise that we didn't have to go. You could side with me for once instead of giving into her. I love Alice, but she pouts and turns on the puppy dog eyes, and everyone gives into her. For once I would like you to take my side."

"You make it sound like it's life or death and not a dance. Was it really that bad dancing with me last year?" He frowned.

"I didn't realize you enjoyed me stepping all over you're feet so much. But no, it wasn't terrible dancing with you. Being forced to be Alice's Barbie doll for four hours was. Do you know how insulting it is to be told you need four hours to make yourself beautiful?" I asked.

"Baby…" He started, but we were interrupted.

"Hi, Eddie," I just thought I would give you a swatch of my dress so you can match my corsage." Tanya shoved her chest into his face. She pulled a pink swatch out of her bra and held it out to him.

"Tanya, I'm taking Bella to the prom." Edward stepped around her and stood next to me.

"Are you still with that plain Jane moose?" she asked, tossing her strawberry blonde over her solider.

**A/N: Yes, I know I used multiple wrong words, it's all part of the contest. Wink.**

"I'm right here," I said bitterly.

She gave me a scathing look. "I know. You should give up and give a real woman a change with him. You'll never please him."

**A/N: Yes, another wrong word. I know…I ****now****. You're going to see a few of them.**

"Shut up, Tanya. I love Bella, and she is more than good enough," Edward said angrily and pulled me along to class.

We took our seats at our table, and he sat down roughly in his chair. I dug my things out of my bag as the last bell rang.

"Baby, just to make it clear, you don't need hours to make yourself beautiful. I'll make it up to you, I promise. Just name it, and it's yours," he said softly.

I already knew what I wanted, the only question was, could I talk him into it. As close as Edward and I were, we still haven't bumped uglies yet. It wasn't from my lack of trying—I had many ruined panties to prove it. It was no secret that Edward was a bit of a player before me. But for some reason, he refused to take my virginity. He claimed I was different and more special than the others. But how long was a girl supposed to weight?

Saturday evening, I snuck into Edward's room, closing and locking the door behind me. Edward glanced up from his book and did a double take. He looked me up and down, and I could tell he was fighting not to cringe.

"You look gorgeous," he lied.

"Liar. I look like I tumbled off the pages of Sluts R Us. I must be wearing twenty pounds of makeup and hair product," I complained.

I stumbled towards his bed in the four-inch heels Alice forced on me. I kicked them off and sat on the edge of the bed.

"It's not that bad," Edward insisted, shifting, so he sat next to me.

I decided to change the subject. "So I know how you can repay me," I told him

"How?" he asked, smirking.

"You can get us a room on prom night, and we can make good use of it." I kissed him lightly on the lips.

"I thought we were going to wait for a special time. I was thinking more on the lines of dinner. I know you like the mushroom ravioli at Bella Italia."

"I'm sick of mushroom ravioli…everyone is sick of mushroom ravioli," I complained.

"How about a new car? Your rust bucket you call a truck is on its last legs," he suggested.

"Stop hating on the truck, stupid shiny Volvo owner," I teased back.

"Ouch…stupid." He chuckled. "You'll pay for that one." He started to tickle me.

I squealed with laughter as his fingers tickled my ribs. I clenched my thighs, hoping I didn't pee. That's not the way I wanted moist panties. I begged him to stop, and when he did, he stayed hovering over me.

"I really want this. I don't see what _special_ time we are waiting for," I told him, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

Before he could answer, his door slammed open, making us both jump. Alice stood in the doorway proudly holding a key. Edward sat up and glared at her.

"Don't you ever knock?" he demanded.

"What would be the point, you weren't going to do anything." Alice shrugged. "Come along, Bella, we aren't…what the hell are you wearing?" She stared at someone in the hallway.

Edward and I hurried to the door and glanced out. I stifled my giggles when I spotted Emmitt in a powder blue tux with a ruffled shirt.

"Hey, Emmitt, the 70s called, they want their clothes back." Edward snickered.

"Don't be hating, I look hot. I'm going to kill it." Emmitt spun around and did a disco move.

"No…absolutely not. That tux is unacceptable. Rose is wearing red, it will clash. I told you to pick a nice tux," Alice scolded.

"With a bow tie, no bandana, like I wanted…I followed directions." Emmitt twirled around. "I have another if you'd like to see it."

"They are called cummerbunds, and I suppose you can't do worse than this," Alice muttered.

"Why challenge him?" Edward snorted.

"I'll be right back." Emmitt disappeared into his room.

Esme came up the stairs and looked at us curiously. "What's going on up here?"

"Emmitt is giving us a fashion show," I told her.

"I see. Bella, dear, you look…" Esme hesitated. "Like you have been a victim to an Alice makeover."

"Don't get used to it. Now that she's ruined it by showing Edward before the prom, we'll need to do something knew." Alice clicked her tongue.

"I am done for the night," I told her.

"But…" Alice protested.

"Alice, I think Bella has had enough for one night. You still have chores you neglected this morning to go shopping."

"But, Mom…"

Alice was interrupted by Emmitt reemerging from his room. He wore a black tux with a white shirt, red bowtie with a matching cummerbund. He did the moonwalk with a spin at the end.

"Emmitt, you look very handsome. So much like your father," Esme gushed.

"Thanks, Aunt Esme. Well, Alice, what do you think?" he asked, cheekily.

"You look nice. Much better than the other getup," she conceded.

"Thanks." Emmitt's grin widened.

"Alice, chores," Esme reminded her.

"Yes, ma'am." Alice sighed and headed for the stairs.

"How do you do that?" I asked Emmitt.

"Do what? Get my way with the evil little pixie? Years of practice, young grasshopper?" Emmitt smirked.

"Emmitt, don't call Alice evil." Esme shook her head with a tiny smile, and then she turned to me. "Bella…hmm…"

"I look like a sl…horrible?" I saved myself.

"I was going to say not like you. I can only assume you don't like it. May I make a suggestion? Tell me well-meaning daughter, no?" Esme suggested.

"I wish it was that easy," I sighed, catching site of Emmitt doing strange dance moves. An idea formed in my mind.

**A/N: Yes, I know sight not site. By the way, this is no reflection of my beta, whose eye is probably twitching right now because of all the words that are going to be left spelt wrong. **

I turned into our driveway and headed for the house. Emmitt and I had just left a pick-up game with some friends, and I needed a shower. I spotted Bella's despicable truck parked by the garage. I didn't know she was coming over today, but it was a nice surprise. Even better, Alice wasn't expected home for a few hours.

When Bella arrived in Forks, she was like a breath of fresh air. My attraction to her was instantaneous, and I knew rite away I had to make her mine. She was different than all the other girls in town, and for that reason, I treated her better than my past girlfriends. I didn't want to rush into anything but savor it and prove to her I was in it for the long haul. It was a test to my will not to be intimate with her. But, I knew as soon as we did it, it would be pulling the stop on a dam, and I would never be able to get enough of her—she deserved better than a horny boyfriend.

I went immediately to my room, expecting that she was hiding out there. My room was empty and how I left it. I was disappointed not to see her on my bed, waiting for me.

"Bella?" I called out.

"I'm in Alice's room," she answered.

I went down the hall and stopped in the doorway. Across the bed were piles of Alice's clothes, along with several bags from the Salvation Army. Bella came out of Alice's closet carrying an armload of clothes.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Having a snack," Emmitt answered, coming up the hallway munching on a cold slice of pizza.

"Not you. Bella." I turned my head and gestured into the bedroom.

Emmitt peared into the room. "Oh, My God. Are you donating all of Alice's clothes to charity?" He cracked up laughing. 

Bella's cheeks tinged with a blush. "No. I'm teaching her a lesson not to treat me as her Barbie anymore. I'm replacing all of her clothes with secondhand clothes, but I won't throw out hers like she did with mine when I first moved here. Instead, I'll hide them somewhere until she promises me, she'll never force a makeover on me again."

"Sweet, the student surpasses the master. Good one, Bells." Emmitt grinned from ear to ear.

"Alice is going to be very upset." I was concerned.

"Alice will get over it." Emmitt rolled his eyes. "Need help moving clothes?

"Please, your mother suggested using the safe room." Bella nodded.

"Wait, my mother is in on it?" My eyes opened wide in shock.

Bella nodded. "I ran my idea by her. I was originally thinking of just treating her like my Skipper doll. Your mother suggested a way in making sure Alice had no way out. You're not going to stop me, are you?" She bit her lip.

I had been feeling guilty since I gave in to going to the prom that day in the canteen. When Alice was first brought to us, I was the only one she trusted. Her father had been abusive, so she didn't trust Dad. Emmitt wasn't living with us yet, but the few times he visited us, the size of him scared her. I hated seeing Alice upset and got in the habit of giving her what she wanted. I've come to realize that I had created a monster. I wanted both girls to be happy, however, I knew if I didn't start putting my foot down to Alice, it would cause a strain on my relationship with Bella.

I went over to her and released her plump lip from her teeth. "One of these days you are going to put a hole in that lip of yours. And no, I'm not going to stop you." I grabbed an armload of cloths. "To the safe room?"

She nodded and kissed my cheek.

"What's a Skipper doll?" Emmitt asked.

"Barbie's little sister," Bella answered him with a wink.

Emmitt grabbed his own armload and followed me out of the room. Between the too of us, it took several trips, and that wasn't even touching the shoes. 

It took the boys nearly half an hour to help me remove things from Alice's room. Edward then stayed and helped me cover Alice's mirrors with the same cloths she uses when she does my makeovers. As I was unpacking some of my supplies, I started getting second thoughts.

"Maybe I'm going overboard," I questioned.

"Naw." Edward shook his head. "Your giving Alice a taste of her own medicine, and you're not doing anything she hasn't done herself. I just have one question."

"What?" I asked.

"What the hell is this?" He picked up the item I just placed on the vanity.

"It's a hair crimper. It creases hair, it used to be Renée's she left it here. It was in a box in the attic like that dress." I pointed to the bubble gum pink tulle dress, hanging in the doorway.

"We're taking a picture of her right?" He grinned mischievously.

"Absolutely," I agreed. "Now, all we got to do is wait."

"Come with me." He took me by the hand and led me back to his room.

He closed the door and pushed me against it. His lips attacked mine furiously, and his tongue pushed it's way into my mouth. Our tongues battled for dominance as his left hand squeezed my breast as if he was checking the firmness of a melon. My nipples pebbled under his touch, and my panties grew moist. We paused coming up for air, gasping for breath.

"Does this mean we are finally doing this?" I asked, hopefully.

"Baby…you know I want to wait. You deserve for it to be special," he whispered, but I could see his resolve waning in his eyes.

"Baby, I think any time we do it, it will end up being special. You're starting to make me feel like they'res something wrong with me," I told him honestly.

"There's nothing wrong. It's just I know that once we do it, there will be no stopping us, it will be like a dam breaking," he explained. 

"Then let it burst already and fill me with its roaring waters," I begged.

"You asked for it." His hooded eyes darkened.

He swept me off my feet and carried me across the room. Edward threw me on the bed and then crawled across the mattress, like a wild lion stalking his timid lamb. He removed his shirt easily. He reached into his nightstand and frowned.

"Shit, I don't have any condoms," he said.

"It's okay, I'm clean, and Renée put me on the pill when I was thirteen," I told him.

"I'm clean too," he promised.

We removed each other's clothes, and he hoovered over me, the picture of a Greek god. He reached down and stroked his penis. I could help but stare at the worm-like appendage as it grew in length.

Crap…I probably should be calling it an all-mighty python or something impressive like that. No guy probably wants to think of their manhood as a slimy skinny worm.

My legs parted for him, and he lowered himself between them, careful not to put his weight on me. He aligned himself with my hole, and with one thrust, he entered me, completing me.

"You're so tight." He grunted in approval.

"And wet for you," I moaned. "Move, please."

He hitched one of my legs over his hip and started thrusting his hips at a rapid pace. He moved in and out, in and out. My body tingled all the way down to my toes. A coil formed in my center ready to spring.

"Yes, Edward… Yes…faster…faster," I chanted.

He growled and started to suck on my neck, I felt his teeth nip at my skin. My back arched, and I knew I couldn't hold back anymore.

"I'm going to cum," I declared as I dug my hands into his hair. "Ed….ward!"

An explosion coursed through my body, rocking me to my very core. I felt as if I was having an out-of-body experience. Edward thrusted a few more times before roaring as his body shook, and I felt a strong hot stream fill me.

"Mine!" He growled possessively, his eyes had blackened with lust.

My breath hitched and I felt a second wave hit me stronger than the first. I clutched onto his shoulders as my body trembled then went limp in his arms. We both gasped for breath. He gently removed himself from me, his penis soaked with cum and tinged with blood. Liquid ran down my legs, but I was too much in a state of ecstasy to care.

"That was amazing," he panted.

There was a knock on the door. "Dudes, I hate to ruin the love fest, but Aunt Esme just called, she's on her way home. And for the love of God, if you ever decide to shag again, warn a mate. I'm pretty sure they heard Bella down in La Push," Emmitt called.

What he said should have embarrassed me, but it didn't. I giggled and smiled up at my man, who was looking rather pleased with himself.

"We should probably shower. Would you like to use mine first?" he offered.

"We could share…you know, conserve water," I suggested playfully.

"You're on." He got up, and we pranced like naked nymphs toward the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes, two fucks, one blow job, and three orgasms later, we emerged from the bathroom. We grinned like fools in love.

"I knew it would be like a dam breaking." Edward snickered, but his eyes sparkled with unbridled joy.

I laughed and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. It got hot and heavy fast…we were probably well on our way to round four when a scream interrupted us.

"Sounds like Alice is home." Edward smirked.

We hurried out of his room to hers. Emmitt was already there with his arms crossed and he was struggling to hide his smile.

Alice looked like a wild woman, standing in front of her closet. Her eyes narrowed, and she pointed a finger at Emmitt. "You…you did this, didn't you?" she accused.

"He didn't, I did. You were so kind to me when I first moved here and threw out all of my clothes for ones you deemed better. I thought it was time I returned the favor. I even got you a beautiful new prom dress. We can spend the rest of the afternoon, playing Alice Skipper as I give you a complete makeover so we can see what we should do for prom," I told her.

"I am not wearing that thing, it's not even from this century. What did you do to my clothes?" she demanded, her tiny hands on her narrow hips.

I shrugged. "What did you do to mine?"

"I burned them," Alice confessed and turned her puppy dog eyes on Edward, and her lower lip trembled. "Edward…"

"Oh, no, not this time. You seriously burnt her clothes because you didn't like them? Not cool. I'm on Bella's side for this one."

"We can either do this the easy way or the hard way," I told her.

"Emmy bear, make Edward make Bella give them back," Alice whined.

"Hell no…this is freaking hilarious and a long time coming. Besides, I helped her." Emmitt laughed.

"MOM!" Alice screamed.

"Don't yell, I'm right here," Esme said from the doorway. "Did you seriously burn Bella's clothes?"

"Maybe…" Alice looked guilty.

"Mary Alice, I am ashamed of you. It is one thing to help a friend with there wardrobe if they ask for your help and another if you force it on them. I think this ought to teach you a good lesson on being a reel friend," Esme scolded.

"But I want to be a fashion consultant for a living; it was good practice for the future. Have you seen how she dresses? Her shirt is inside out…wait, why is your shirt inside out?" She gave me a strange look.

"Alice, if you want to give fashion advice for a living that is great. But you'll be out of a job before you can blink, if you force your clients into something they don't want," Esme told her.

Thank God, Esme seemed to ignore her comment.

"Since you also force Bella into makeovers, I think it's only fair that you sit for her for once. No butts about it," Esme said firmly.

Alice looked dejected and if she might start to cry. I felt slightly guilty, so I gave her a glimpse of hope.

"Look on the bright side, Alice. Unlike you, I didn't burn anything, you'll get them all back, but only if you cooperate with me," I told her.

"Aww…why did you have to ruin it," Emmitt protested. "You should have made her squirm for longer."

"Okay…okay…I'll cooperate," Alice conceded.

The others left the room, and I patted the chair in front of her vanity. She changed into a robe then slumped into the seat and sighed heavily as I started to remove her makeup, so I could have a fresh start. She eyed the neon color palette with distaste but kept her mouth shut.

"Don't worry, I studied pictures of Renée at our age. You'll look great for prom," I teased.

"I agreed to the makeover, but not for prom. I already have a dress and shoes, that is, if you give them back," she said worriedly.

"I'm afraid you're dress won't work. You bought it way too soon, the theme is _Totally 80s_," I told her as I plugged in the crimper. "If you don't believe me, you can ask Angela, she is on the prom committee."

Alice grabbed her phone and started to text. I grinned, already knowing how Angela was going to respond. Her phone beeped, and Alice's face paled. She gave the dress a wary look.

"I thought prom themes were supposed to be _Under the Sea_ or _Paris Night_," she said.

"I wouldn't know," I shrugged. "Close your eyes, please."

I spread purple then aqua eyeshadow on the lids. I even spread the aqua across her temple, not quite to the hairline. Alice's lips pressed into thin lines but didn't say anything as I drew a zig-zag at the corner of her left eye.

On her cheeks, I overloaded them with hot pink blush and painted a tiny heart. Her lips were colored in matching pink lipstick. I started to use the crimper in her hair when she broke her silence.

"You never answered me about why your shirt was inside out," she said.

I blushed, and her mouth opened into a tiny "o." She grinned and squealed in her seat.

"O. M. G., you guys finally did it, didn't you? Tell me all about it," she said.

"Alice, it was your brother, surely you don't want the deets," I said mortified.

"Sure, I do. Spill," she demanded.

A half-an-hour later, I was done, and Alice was in her dress, standing in front of her three-way mirror, waiting for me to remove the blanket that was over it. How Alice made this process extend on for hours was beyond me—I don't think it even took me an hour.

"Ready?" I asked her.

She took a deep breath and nodded. "As I will ever be."

I took off the blanket and tossed it on the bed. Alice examined herself in the mirror and even leaned closer to check out the small heart. I pulled out my phone and held it up.

"Smile," I said.

She looked at me like a deer in headlights as I snapped the pitcher. "Please, don't post that on Facebook or Instagram."

"I won't, I'm just going to send it to Jasper," I lied as I really sent it to Emmitt and Edward. "He's going to need it to be able to match his tie."

I swear I heard Alice whimper as I looked up. She was still staring at herself in the mirror, trying to mask her horror.

"So what do you think?" I prompted.

"It's nice..." She managed to say.

"But…" I hid my smirk.

"It's just…it's great for Halloween, but it's not how I imagined prom would look like," she admitted.

"I guess it's a good thing I lied then. Prom's theme is really _Casino Night_. Angela helped me out," I told her.

"You are evil." Alice surprisingly started laughing. "Okay…okay, I learned my lesson. Can I have my things back now?"

"One minute, swear to me that you'll never force me into another makeover or into doing anything I really don't want to do again. That you'll except no for an answer instead of turning to Edward to convince me." I held out my pinkie finger.

"I swear, that I will never do any of that again. Besides, now that you opened your legs to my brother, I doubt I'll ever be able to sway him anymore," she agreed, linking our fingers.

"Your clothes, shoes, and everything else are in the saferoom," I told her.

"Thank God. Did you have to send a picture to Jasper, though?" she complained.

"I didn't. I sent it to Edward and Emmitt," I reassured her.

Her eyes widened comically. "You sent it to…Emmitt?"

"Ummm…" I realized what I had done.

"EMMITT!" Alice screeched ear-piercingly loud and ran impressively fast in go-go boots out the door.

_**A/N: Thank you for reading. If I get two hundred reviews, I'll update. **_

_**To my guest reviewer on my last story who told me it sucked and to go kill myself. You first, I insist.**_

**A/N: Since this was a spoof it won't be continued. **__**Once again this was written with humor intended. Thank you to all that voted for it in the contest. **


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